Stevie - Ten Months

You have mastered walking and are beginning to try to climb on things... oh my! You can also finally stand up unassisted so crawling is now few and far between. You love to explore and carry your favorite toys around. You love your babies and are such a sweet mama to them. You "love" them by patting them and hugging them. You are attached to taxi and Ellie and sleep with both each night. You love your keys (and mommy and daddy's keys too!) We love to watch you play and explore with your toys but your favorite thing by far is to read. You are constantly bringing us books to read with you. You LOVE all llama llama books and can pick them off of the shelves (and anywhere else we have tried to hide them...!) It is so fun to see you developing favorite stories, pictures, toys, and games. You are so smart and observant. You love to take in the world around you and are constantly learning from everyone. You and fitz play tugawar which you think is pretty great. You have learned to feed him from your high chair, which he really appreciates! You are daddy's girl lately and will go tattle on mommy to daddy when I upset you. You loved your first Christmas and had so much fun with family. You loved the Christmas tree and lights, but especially Christmas books- llama llama jingle bells was read a hundred times and you laugh at the llamas singing songs! We love your new two-tooth smile and you are figuring out why teeth are so great! You still love to eat and will still eat anything. Still not a lot of words mostly just sounds for now, but you did say 'Boo' playing peek a boo one day. We can always get some giggles by tickling you.  You are so brave and will walk up to any big kid we see in public like you belong right there with them. You have such a big heart which we can't wait to see more of. You are smart, silly, brave, sweet, determined, and strong and we love you more than words can say.

 Sooo Big! And Sooo silly!

 

This is what most of the pictures I got this month look like....So Busy!

Stevie - Nine Months

Nine whole months. I carried you around for nine months and it felt like we would never get to meet you and somehow nine months of your life has already gone by! You weigh 18.5 lbs! This has been a busy month for you. You made your first cross-country road trip to see Pa and Grandma in Louisiana! We upgraded you to a convertible car seat for the ride and you did great. We drove through South Carolina, Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, and Texas - Whew! What a great tour of the south! You got a cold and Pa and Grandma's house that was no fun at all, but you were a trooper and got to spend a lot of time cuddling with Pa and Grandma, which they loved. We got to see aunts and uncles and cousins and so many fun animals on Pa's farm! You loved to push his little turtle, Clyde around the living room. You didn't eat much for your first thanksgiving but you did try some of Grandma's yummy broccoli cheese casserole. You loved grandma's pound cake as well! On top of a terrible cold you were teething and finally, your two bottom teeth broke through!!! After a fun week in Louisiana, we said see you later to Daddy and hitched a ride with Uncle Jordy to Texas to spend the week with Taytay, Scott, Molly, and Cooper! Everybody was a little under the weather but we still had a fun time playing. You loved to watch Molly play and were so intrigued by Cooper, who was also intrigued by you! We got to have a fun play day with Keke as well - you  had your first bite of ice cream - which you were a huge fan of. We spent the last two nights with Coco and Ken and got to see Mallary, Remi, Drew, Nene, and Papa which was so so fun! Then we flew to Kansas City to see Bo and Lodie! You did great on the flight and were so excited to see Bo and Lodie. The first night at Bo and Lodie's you took your first steps while we facetimed with Daddy - it was perfect. You are working hard on walking and in honor of your nine month birthday you decided to really walk! We got a great video of you taking so many steps! You get so excited about it that you try to run and fall down a lot... but you are so proud of yourself when you figure it out - we will be chasing you around in no time. You love to clap and huff. You go around saying, Bo all the time and will look at him when we say his name... no fair, but still cute! You love to play with walk-behind toys, measuring spoons and cups, and baby dolls. We had your second trip to the emergency room this month in Kansas City with an ear infection - poor baby. Got on an antibiotic  (which you LOVE) and you returned to your happy self. Saw your first snow, as we were going to the ER... so you weren't that excited about it... You love to eat and have tried so many new things this month. Olives are still your favorite but you have also tried pound cake, pancakes, waffles, ice cream pie, banana pie, and so much more (Clearly we have been visiting grandparents!) You will eat just about anything we give you. You have started to cry when people walk out of the room. You can do a pretty impressive pouty face that breaks our hearts. You have seen so many people on this big trip and they have all loved you - of course!  Your little personality is so great. You are brave, observant, inquisitive, kind, and joyful. You have such big feelings! We are working on sign language and you are doing great! You do 'more' a lot - especially when food is concerned. We love to the moon and back Stevie Tay, we love watching you grow and learn!

 Our big walker!

Baby Hogan - Weeks 24-28

As the last day of 2015 draws to an end I am a little emotional as I think about everything this past year held and everything 2016 promises. (Or maybe its just hormones...!) 2015 has been a crazy and wild year filled with so many exciting memories that we will always cherish, but we cannot wait for all that the next year will hold. We can't wait to meet our sweet girl, learn to be parents, and capture all the milestones that we will experience with Stevie! God has been and continues to be so good to us. Let's do this 2016!

I can't believe the THIRD and FINAL trimester is here! :O Where has the time gone!

Feeling: Generally pretty good. Back pain, heartburn, general exhaustion, and trouble sleeping at night. Oh also - hello hormones. The things I get teary over... oh my.

Craving: Homemade salsa, coke floats, sauteed green beans, cookie dough (don't worry I didn't give in...but making Christmas cookies this year was a major test of will power!) Most random craving was definitely for strawberry sheet cake. It. Was. Amazing. Still loving my smoothies just about every day!

Milestones: Our annual trip to Louisiana with a bump during which I, by some kind of Christmas miracle, did not get the stomach virus the rest of the family did. Getting to see so many friends and family in Louisiana. We celebrated our last Christmas without our sweet girl and tonight we will ring in the new year - a year where we will meet sweet Stevie! 

Anticipating: Organizing the house and nursery, touring the hospital, taking a birth class, but mostly just the arrival of our sweet girl!!

24 weeks - In Lee's Summitt, MO

 25 weeks - Home in Asheville, NC

No pictures from weeks 26 & 27, we were in Louisiana and everyone who could take the picture was sick... and when they finally felt better we were too busy catching up to remember to take a picture!

 28 weeks - Back home until Stevie's arrival!

Baby Hogan - Weeks 20-24

I've been on the road on a grand adventure seeing so many friends and family these past weeks! 

Feeling: Overall pretty great. Definitely some aches and pains that are always present and I'm so tired, but still pretty great.

Craving: Because I've been on the road I've gotten to eat so many of my favorites from all over! Blue Bell ice cream has returned to Texas so I ate that every. single. day. that I was there! I've had Taco Bueno's mexi-dips and chips four times! LOTS of delicious Mexican food, fabulous Thanksgiving spread, and my many requests for my mom and dad's home-cooking! Still rocking my smoothies every day.

Milestones: Traveling with a baby bump! Seeing so many friends and family and lots of them getting to feel Stevie's sweet kicks. She's kicking strong enough now that they are visible movements in my belly - if you happen to be staring at it when she does! Family and friends showering Stevie with all sorts of fun goodies! Taking some fun pictures with Tay and Molly and snapping a few maternity pictures as well!

Anticipating: The infamous glucose test is coming up. I'm not really anticipating it, but it should be something to remember based on everyone's faces whose ever had to do it! Starting the decorating and nesting in the nursery! We have one more cross-country road trip to make in December as we go see Aubrey's family for Christmas!

20 weeks

 21 weeks - spent in Ardmore, OK, Watauga, TX and Witchita Falls, TX

Photo by Alexis Hines Photography

No pictures from weeks 22&23 - Spent in Watauga, TX and Lee's Summit, MO

24 weeks - Spent in Lee's Summit, MO

2014

As 2014 comes to an end I can’t help but reflect back on the end of 2013 and all that we hoped 2014 would hold.

2014 was a wild and crazy one for us. With many ups and downs and round and rounds I am somewhat ready to see it behind us. However, 2014 was a formative year. It was a year that forced Aubrey and I to draw closer to each other and closer to our Father and caused us to lay our hopes, dreams, and expectations at God’s feet in new and at times painful ways and reminded us, once again, that his plan and his timing is perfect. Years like that are usually hard but important ones in your life.

However, this year along with all the pain and confusion brought so much joy. Though Aubrey and I had hoped 2014 would be the year our kids came home we instead were given another year with just the two of us. As painful as it was at times it also brought with it so many opportunities. So, instead of anguishing in broken expectations we were able to celebrate and relish our time together.

I went to Europe. For TWO weeks. It was an amazing trip that I will never forget.

I

We were BOTH in Grad school this year.

We took time off to help my parents move across the country.

We got a puppy!

We were able to take last minute trips when family passed away.

We went to the movies… a LOT.

I made the trip to Louisiana for Keeley’s wedding!

I spent a week with Tay and was there to celebrate Molly June’s 1^st birthday.

We made our annual Thanksgiving trip and spent 4 hours in the middle of nowhere Minnesota with car troubles.

All these things and so much more were reminders that God is still in control and that his plan is perfect. So many of the trips we were able to go on were unexpected and last minute trips that would have looked so different with kids in tow. (Not that we won’t gladly step into the chaos of traveling with kids when the time comes!)

This year taught us so much about patience, prayer, and being able to rest where you are and we hope to carry those lessons with us into 2015 and beyond. Yes, we have hopes and dreams about this year, but we are holding loosely to those and starting the year by laying them at God’s feet. We are praying that this year would be what he desires it to be and until our kids do come home we are going to enjoy our time with each other.

Holidays

This Holiday season has been a lot harder than I ever would have imagined. It is filled with time with loved ones, tradition, and many reminders that our kids are still not home.

Our Christmas cards last year announced our exciting news to family and friends and now a year has gone by. A hard, long, exhausting, and confusing year.

Last Halloween as we carved pumpkins with friends I thought, maybe next year we will carve pumpkins with our kids.

Last Fall when we took our family pictures to use for our adoption announcements I thought, maybe the next set of family pictures will have a few little ones added.

Last year during our annual Thanksgiving road trip I thought, this trip might be crazy next year with kids in tow.

Last Christmas I woke up Christmas morning overwhelmed with a deep hope and prayer that next year our kids would be home for Christmas.

As these fun annual activities rolled around this year my heart was filled with sadness with the realization that a year had gone by since those hopes and wishes and a feeling that we weren't any closer to having are kids home with us.

This season has provided yet another opportunity for us to trust God. Trust that his plan is perfect, that he has not forgotten us or our children, that he is holding us all in his hands until we can hold each other. This year, as last year, my prayer is that this is the last holiday season without our kids but I am resting in the fact that God has it under control.

This is our prayer this holiday season:

Father, wherever our kids are this holiday season we pray they would feel safe and loved. Thank you for holding them while we can’t. Thank you for your perfect plan that will bring us together in your perfect time. Be with all of us this holiday season as we are apart and we pray that this would be the last holiday season we have to spend apart. Be with all those hurting this holiday season, help us to remember that amongst the joy that this season brings for many it bring pain. Help us to be your light and love to everyone we encounter as we celebrate the coming of your son.