The Pre-Approval Roller Coaster

I took some pictures of our house last week when everything was clean for our meeting, so my post after this one will be house pictures! But, before I share those I wanted to share how we got here. It was quite the journey to get to our house and we always viewed that as part of our journey to our kids. So here you go!

I wrote this post last October:

One of the goals that Aubrey and I had before we started the adoption process was to be in a house. We have loved our apartments, they were great for the two of us, but when we decided we wanted to start the process for kids we both looked around and realized another human being, no matter how small could not fit in our apartment, we have just out grown it!

So, our perfect plan was to get in a house over the winter and start paperwork in the spring. Sounds like a perfect timeline right? If only it was so easy...

We did know the process would be more complicated because we own our own business. It adds some nice loops and twist to the roller coaster that is the pre-approval process. And while I love twists and loops on real roller coasters, these twists and loops made me sick to my stomach.

Our first problem, in retrospect was that we were trying so hard to make our plan work that we were trying to do it all on our own. With no thought or prayer to God about his plan. We both felt so sure about the timeline leading up to kids that we assumed God must think our plan was looking pretty good.

The first bank we sat down with said, No. And not a, "well its a no, but lets look at what we can do to make it work." More like a, "No, and I don't know of anything I can do to help you and your situation." It was crushing. We both were set back. So, it looked like our timeline was going to be pushed back. We had some things we could do to put us in a more appealing spot for banks, but the new timeline would have us starting the house process next April, which meant kids would be pushed back to an unknown time. I was scared and frustrated.

So, I did something we should have done before sitting down with the first bank, prayed. I asked God what his plan was. I told him that we both felt like he had told us Spring was the time to venture into the kid process, and now we felt confused. But I eventually found rest in Him (of course, why am I always so surprised..?) We found ourselves praying for His will and His plan for our family. We trusted that he would guide us on the right path if we stayed close to his voice.

So, that was our prayer when we decided to sit down with the next bank. While waiting in the lobby I prayed that His plan be made clear to us. If it was a no, that we would have peace about it. Going into the meeting I did have the peace that God was in control.

The meeting felt surreal. From the get-go the guy we talked to (Jeff Sproul at RCU GO SEE HIM! He's great) was positive and excited about helping us get into our first home. Everything that had been an issue with other banks was apparently not a problem at all in his eyes. We looked at each other halfway through the meeting like, "is this really happening?"

The next morning we got an email from him with our Pre-Approval letter! I stopped everything I was doing and prayed. Thank you God for YOUR perfect plan.

It was such a reminder for us that we can do nothing without him, and I'm glad, what an amazing peace that we are afforded knowing that He is the one in control. Why do I waste so much time worrying when I should rest in his promise to take care of me?

So, with our Pre-Approval letter in hand we began house hunting!

First Meeting

We just met our social worker! As I said in the last post, this meeting was just to determine if we were a good fit for the program. She asked us a bunch of questions and let us ask some of our own. She is very nice and we are excited to get to work with her on this journey!

From here she will go to her supervisor and recommend that we be accepted into the program (which she felt would be no problem) and then if we are they will mail us some more paperwork to start on. This paperwork will include extensive background checks and personal references among many other things. After the paperwork is turned in we will start the home study meetings.

We are excited to get this ball rolling and see where it takes us!

Thank you so much for all your kind words of encouragement and prayers, we could feel them during the meeting!

Well that was fast

I just got a call from the person who will be our social worker. She has received our paperwork that we mailed off and we set up a meeting with her for this Friday

Wait... WHAT? Can you break that down for me again? Slower this time??

Sure!

Yes, the paperwork we mailed off on January 24th, the stuff we mentioned in this post, has made its happy way back to Eau Claire and has landed on the desk of our social worker. (We seriously have a social worker now??? I still feel like we should probably say that she might be our social worker...but I guess not...?)

Yes, this happened a LOT faster than we thought it would. Based on conversations with other's timeline of this part of the process, we estimated it would take anywhere from 1 to 3 months. It has been three weeks. Yes, this freaks us out a little, but it is also exciting and we are going to roll with it.

Yes, we are meeting THIS Friday. Two days from this moment we will be sitting on our couch with our social worker. Better get cleaning when I get home tonight!

Apparently, as our social worker told me, in this meeting she will go over what the program looks like and we will go over the paperwork we mailed in. Then she will go back and decide if we are a good fit for the program. If they decide we are then we will get an application to fill out, then the home study process will begin.

So, here we go! (I know I've said this before, and I'm sure I'll say it again a million more times as the process begins to feel more and more real!)

Please pray for us as we meet our social worker on Friday. Pray for timing throughout the process. Continue to pray for our kids and pray that we'll listen closely to the spirit's guidance to stay on the path that will lead us to them.

It is well

When peace like a river, attendeth my soul.
When sorrows like sea billows roll. 
Whatever my lot, thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul. 

My anthem today, this week, this month, this lifetime..

Some days peace does flow like a river and my soul is soothed. Some days sorrows roll in like sea billows. And I focus on the fact that He is the one in control and that in the end it is well with my soul.

I pray that our kid(s) wherever they are, whatever they are going through might have that sense too. Even if they don't know what to call it or who it is providing it, I pray that at their core they would hold onto a hope that passes all understanding.

To Our Family

You might be thinking we are crazy, and that's ok. Some days we think we are crazy too! We hope to be able to answer the questions and concerns you may have. But, please know this is what God has called us to do, and we are stepping forward in obedience. Yes, even though we know it wont be easy, and even though at times we are scared, nervous, excited, and worried all at once, we are never doubtful. We are resting in God's good and perfect plan.

Want to know what this means for you? Well, it means a lot. It means that you are on this journey with us through thick and thin. Our friends get to choose how involved they are, but to an extent you are already involved. We are blessed to have families that are there for us, no matter what. We will rely on this and because of this will ask that you walk with us down this unknown path. We ask that you pray with us, mourn with us, weep with us, celebrate with us and welcome our kids with us.

Want to know how to get involved and stay informed? Check out our post to our friends, because all that and more applies to you! If you are a reader, we would love for you to read Adoption is a Family Affair: What Relatives and Friends must know by Patricia Irwin Johnston. Also check out the resources page for many more!

Most of all we want you to know that this is your story too. These are your nieces/nephews, grand-kids, and cousins. This is the story of how they joined our family. We are so excited and blessed that YOU are part of the family they get to join!