First of all we just want all of our friends to know how blessed we are to have you in our lives. We have been overwhelmed with the amount of joy and excitement our adoption announcement generated. We have lived lots of places and have been fortunate to leave each of them with lasting friendships. So, to you, wherever you may live, thanks for being part of our story!
We want you to be as involved as you can be! So, what can you do?
Read the blog! We are doing this blog because our friends, and family, are scattered across the country. We will update this as quickly as possible, and at times things could be happening so fast that we just can call/text everyone, so check here! Sign up to get updates!
Pray with us and for us! Check out our prayer for our kids post and pray with us. We would love to know what you are praying for us and our kids, leave comments or email, we would love to hear your prayers.
Be there! Whether you live 2000 miles away or 2, be there for us. This process will be a roller coaster and we will need all the support we can get. Phone calls and texts of encouragement will be greatly appreciated!
Ask questions! We know you probably have questions, so do we. We would love to hear yours, who knows maybe it will jog one of our own to mind! We want you to be as informed as you want to be and we are figuring all this out as we go along. Check out the resources page for lots to look at.
We hope you will join us on this crazy ride!
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Friday, January 24, 2014
Welcome...No. 2
Now that we have officially sent off our paperwork and have therefore officially begun the process we would like to welcome the rest of the world to our little blog!
Hello world of Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram! If you are just joining us, welcome! We have some posts that are backlogged that we would love for you to check out to get updated about how we got here.
Also, we'd love for you to check out the About Us and Adoption Resources pages for more info.
So, for all our new visitors, here's the quick run-down.
We are glad you stopped by and are so excited to journey with you during this new chapter in our lives!
Hello world of Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram! If you are just joining us, welcome! We have some posts that are backlogged that we would love for you to check out to get updated about how we got here.
Also, we'd love for you to check out the About Us and Adoption Resources pages for more info.
So, for all our new visitors, here's the quick run-down.
WHAT: We have chosen to start our family through adoption!
HOW: We are adopting through Foster Care!
WHEN: Paperwork is mailed off, so who knows!
We are glad you stopped by and are so excited to journey with you during this new chapter in our lives!
It's Official!
Y'all, today we stuck an envelope in the mail that will change everything. Or at least will start a process that will change everything.
In December we attended an informational meeting for adopting through foster care that is required to attend before you start the process. We didn't know it, but we would leave that meeting with the paperwork we would need to fill out and mail in to officially start the process.
So we took our time, got through the holidays, started Grad school, and finally got it filled out.
So then we sort of looked at each other and thought, "Well, its filled out, so I guess now we mail it in..."
Sticking an envelope in the mail never felt so, exciting, nerve-racking, or "Oh my goodness, now its out of our hands and into theirs" before.
So the little envelope that will change our lives is off to Madison, where they will look it over and decide if we are a good fit for the program, if they deem that we are it will make a trip back to Eau Claire to the local office here where they will look it over and again decide if we are a good fit for the program, and if they also deem we are we'll get a call! Whew! This process (I've heard) can take anywhere between 1-3 months, so begins the waiting!
In December we attended an informational meeting for adopting through foster care that is required to attend before you start the process. We didn't know it, but we would leave that meeting with the paperwork we would need to fill out and mail in to officially start the process.
So we took our time, got through the holidays, started Grad school, and finally got it filled out.
So then we sort of looked at each other and thought, "Well, its filled out, so I guess now we mail it in..."
Sticking an envelope in the mail never felt so, exciting, nerve-racking, or "Oh my goodness, now its out of our hands and into theirs" before.
So the little envelope that will change our lives is off to Madison, where they will look it over and decide if we are a good fit for the program, if they deem that we are it will make a trip back to Eau Claire to the local office here where they will look it over and again decide if we are a good fit for the program, and if they also deem we are we'll get a call! Whew! This process (I've heard) can take anywhere between 1-3 months, so begins the waiting!
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Praying for our kids
After the Ton. of. Bricks. hit me. And I realized that all I could do for our kid(s) is pray I wrote this prayer. This is the prayer we pray for our kids everyday. This prayer is for all of our kids that will come to us through adoption. Trying to trust Him and take one step at a time!
Will you join us in praying for our kids?
Father I pray for their physical, emotional, and spiritual health. I pray you would give them courage to face the challenges of each day. Spirit, give them a calm spirit to hear your voice and a willingness to obey. Jesus may their spirit be generous towards others as yours is. Father, give them a clear mind to learn and recall. Provide them with wise teachers, counselors, mentors, and friends. Father I pray they would find a unshakeable identity and trust in you. Jesus, I pray that they would know and become like you.
Father as they go through their day I pray that you would protect them, protect them physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Father when they feel unseen, let them know that you see them. Protect them from whatever circumstances they will go through that will result in them being in the foster or adoption system. Father keep them healthy and protect them from illnesses around them. Father, I pray you would put people in their life who would look out for them, others that would see them, and notice their hearts. I pray these people would have the courage to speak up for them and speak into them. May these people around them be your light into their darkness.
I pray for their daily needs. Provide food when they are hungry, clothes to wear, shelter to live in, and beds to sleep in. Father may they find rest each night from whatever the day held. If they are in school guide them to teachers and people they can ask for help from, help with school and help with life. I pray they would have time to play each day, to feel like a kid. Give them hope when the situations feel hopeless. Keep their hearts full of hope father. I pray that they would come to us as healthy and happy as possible, and that you would build in us the tools we will need to help them heal their hearts. Father I pray that they would come to us legally free, I know that with you this is possible. May your will be done.
I pray for their birth parents. Father, thank you for the amazing blessing of giving life to our kids. I pray that they would come to know you Father, if they don't already and that you would bless them. Provide a healthy pregnancy for their birth mother. Father whatever the circumstances that lead to our kids adoption, I pray you would be in the midst of it. Whatever the situation is, help them remember that their kids are just kids. Help them to desire whatever is best for their child. Comfort them in the grief that will come after losing their kids. Comfort the kids if their birth parents pass away. I pray that our kids will come to understand the circumstances that led to their adoption.
If they have siblings I pray that they would come to us together and not be separated. Help them to find comfort in each other daily. Bless their relationship and help them to get along and thrive with each other. I pray you would also begin to open their hearts to the idea of other siblings after they join our family.
I pray that they would dream and hope for a better life, a life with loving parents and a safe home. I pray they would long for a life lived with you at the center. Begin to work in their hearts to prepare a place for you.
Will you join us in praying for our kids?
Father I pray for their physical, emotional, and spiritual health. I pray you would give them courage to face the challenges of each day. Spirit, give them a calm spirit to hear your voice and a willingness to obey. Jesus may their spirit be generous towards others as yours is. Father, give them a clear mind to learn and recall. Provide them with wise teachers, counselors, mentors, and friends. Father I pray they would find a unshakeable identity and trust in you. Jesus, I pray that they would know and become like you.
Father as they go through their day I pray that you would protect them, protect them physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Father when they feel unseen, let them know that you see them. Protect them from whatever circumstances they will go through that will result in them being in the foster or adoption system. Father keep them healthy and protect them from illnesses around them. Father, I pray you would put people in their life who would look out for them, others that would see them, and notice their hearts. I pray these people would have the courage to speak up for them and speak into them. May these people around them be your light into their darkness.
I pray for their daily needs. Provide food when they are hungry, clothes to wear, shelter to live in, and beds to sleep in. Father may they find rest each night from whatever the day held. If they are in school guide them to teachers and people they can ask for help from, help with school and help with life. I pray they would have time to play each day, to feel like a kid. Give them hope when the situations feel hopeless. Keep their hearts full of hope father. I pray that they would come to us as healthy and happy as possible, and that you would build in us the tools we will need to help them heal their hearts. Father I pray that they would come to us legally free, I know that with you this is possible. May your will be done.
I pray for their birth parents. Father, thank you for the amazing blessing of giving life to our kids. I pray that they would come to know you Father, if they don't already and that you would bless them. Provide a healthy pregnancy for their birth mother. Father whatever the circumstances that lead to our kids adoption, I pray you would be in the midst of it. Whatever the situation is, help them remember that their kids are just kids. Help them to desire whatever is best for their child. Comfort them in the grief that will come after losing their kids. Comfort the kids if their birth parents pass away. I pray that our kids will come to understand the circumstances that led to their adoption.
If they have siblings I pray that they would come to us together and not be separated. Help them to find comfort in each other daily. Bless their relationship and help them to get along and thrive with each other. I pray you would also begin to open their hearts to the idea of other siblings after they join our family.
I pray that they would dream and hope for a better life, a life with loving parents and a safe home. I pray they would long for a life lived with you at the center. Begin to work in their hearts to prepare a place for you.
Monday, January 20, 2014
Ton of Bricks
There was this moment. A moment that hit me like a ton of bricks. And then it kept coming back and hitting me like a ton of bricks all over again. and again. and again.
The moment when I realized that our kid(s) are out there somewhere. They are (in all likely-hood) born. They are living life. And they are going through whatever it is that they will have to go through to get to us. Like I said...ton. of. bricks.
The first time it hit me was in my office at work and I broke down. It was so overwhelming to know that they were out there and there was nothing I could do for them but pray for them. And so I did.
My prayer life has been changed by this process already. As I go through my days all the sudden it will hit me again. What are they doing right now? Are they hungry? Are they warm/cold/sad/scared/worried? And I turn to the only person who knows the answers and plead, Father please see them, see them because I can't. Please take care of them like only you can.
So when I sit down to eat, I pray for them. That they would have food to eat. When I lay down in my bed, I pray that they could find some rest tonight. And sometimes it just hits me out of nowhere and I break down all over again. And so I pray.
I have a feeling this whole parenthood thing is going toteach remind me how little control I have over anything. And believe me this control freak is going to struggle. I find peace in the fact that He is in control. And that he already loves my kid(s) more than I ever will.
The moment when I realized that our kid(s) are out there somewhere. They are (in all likely-hood) born. They are living life. And they are going through whatever it is that they will have to go through to get to us. Like I said...ton. of. bricks.
The first time it hit me was in my office at work and I broke down. It was so overwhelming to know that they were out there and there was nothing I could do for them but pray for them. And so I did.
My prayer life has been changed by this process already. As I go through my days all the sudden it will hit me again. What are they doing right now? Are they hungry? Are they warm/cold/sad/scared/worried? And I turn to the only person who knows the answers and plead, Father please see them, see them because I can't. Please take care of them like only you can.
So when I sit down to eat, I pray for them. That they would have food to eat. When I lay down in my bed, I pray that they could find some rest tonight. And sometimes it just hits me out of nowhere and I break down all over again. And so I pray.
I have a feeling this whole parenthood thing is going to
Monday, January 13, 2014
Is this Plan B?
Aubrey and I are approaching our five (yikes, that's like a milestone or something..!) year anniversary. (June 20) So, we both understand that you might assume that we tried to get pregnant before deciding to adopt. While that is some people's story, it is not ours. Here is how we arrived here!
When we got married, and since then, we always hoped to wait at least 5 years before starting the journey of kids. Of course we knew we had little to no control over that, and we would have been fine with something different. We wanted God's plan for our family, not ours. I digress, about 2 years ago baby fever set in (with me) It set in pretty hard. It was one of those seasons where it felt like everyone around me was pregnant and having babies. However, as bad as I wanted to be a mom, I looked around at our current life situation (trying to get a business off the ground, I was still working part time, and we were nowhere near ready to buy a house) and knew it wasn't the right time. So, I just sat in baby fever limbo. It's no fun.
One day in a baby fever induced craze (i'm sure) I brought up the kid-timeline question to Aubrey. He reminded me that we had always said we would wait until we had been married at least 5 years, and I reminded him that we had already been married 3 of those 5 years, and his eyes got so big. Y'all, its like he forgot that "we'll wait 5 years" doesn't mean that we will always wait 5 years from now...(haha, sorry Aubrey! It was too funny!)
Once he stopped panicking we slowly began to talk about what that would look like. We began praying and thinking and talking and at some point (after looking at his grad school graduation date and where we hoped to be financially and with the business) and decided we would start he kid "process" in the spring of 2014. Whew! That was an exciting conclusion to come to! Now we just had to figure out if we were going to adopt or try to get pregnant when we got to Spring.
Aubrey brought it up first, God was obviously working in him before me, he just mentioned the idea of adopting from foster care first. I immediately had 14 reasons it wouldn't work, but God began working in my heart. Then the decision became to have one first or adopt from foster care first. I actually landed on adopting from foster care first just out of instinct. There was no major revelation that came to me, if just felt right, and Aubrey agreed.
In April (2013) I was doing research on the process, just trying to learn all about it, and I read that the large majority of kids in the Wisconsin system are 6 years and older and that younger kids are relatively rare. That statement began an unraveling of many sorts in me. From that moment on I began the debate between having one first or adopting from foster care first all over again. I told Aubrey about it and he was not affected. He still held firm in adoption, but firm in a way that let me find my way back on my own. The doubts flooded my mind, It seriously felt like I changed my mind every 10 minutes about what to do. I prayed and prayed that God would give us clarity on what direction to take to start our family. The paths were so very different and at this time we knew we were already less than a year away from starting whatever process we decided on.
One weekend at Jacob's Well, during a series on Jeremiah, John Stumbo spoke about being called. God knew before we were in the womb the calling he had for us. John said two things that hit my heart directly. 1. "It's not about who you are NOW, its about who God is making you to be." 2. "Don't ask, can I do this? But instead, Can God make me into who I need to be to do this" It became so clear to me that all my doubts about foster care came flooding in when I realized that it might be more difficult or not as pretty as I thought. The potential of older kids was scary, but God spoke to me that day saying, "Ask me, I can and will make you into the person you need to be to do this."
I came home and told Aubrey about my revelation, and he just smiled. He noted that with so many other "big" decisions in our lives he has been the one with the research, revelations, and reasons behind why we should do this one thing, and I have usually been the one who just "felt" like it was the right thing to do for no explainable reason, but that this time it was reverse! He had been there all along waiting for me patiently to get there too. So we looked at each other and smiled, I think filled with excitement and probably terror. We knew how we were going to start our family!
So, no we have never officially tried to get pregnant. No, this is not plan B, and honestly even if we had tried to get pregnant I don't think adoption would feel like Plan B. God's plan is always Plan A. This is God's plan for our family and we are so excited that this is the path he has for us.
When we got married, and since then, we always hoped to wait at least 5 years before starting the journey of kids. Of course we knew we had little to no control over that, and we would have been fine with something different. We wanted God's plan for our family, not ours. I digress, about 2 years ago baby fever set in (with me) It set in pretty hard. It was one of those seasons where it felt like everyone around me was pregnant and having babies. However, as bad as I wanted to be a mom, I looked around at our current life situation (trying to get a business off the ground, I was still working part time, and we were nowhere near ready to buy a house) and knew it wasn't the right time. So, I just sat in baby fever limbo. It's no fun.
One day in a baby fever induced craze (i'm sure) I brought up the kid-timeline question to Aubrey. He reminded me that we had always said we would wait until we had been married at least 5 years, and I reminded him that we had already been married 3 of those 5 years, and his eyes got so big. Y'all, its like he forgot that "we'll wait 5 years" doesn't mean that we will always wait 5 years from now...(haha, sorry Aubrey! It was too funny!)
Once he stopped panicking we slowly began to talk about what that would look like. We began praying and thinking and talking and at some point (after looking at his grad school graduation date and where we hoped to be financially and with the business) and decided we would start he kid "process" in the spring of 2014. Whew! That was an exciting conclusion to come to! Now we just had to figure out if we were going to adopt or try to get pregnant when we got to Spring.
Aubrey brought it up first, God was obviously working in him before me, he just mentioned the idea of adopting from foster care first. I immediately had 14 reasons it wouldn't work, but God began working in my heart. Then the decision became to have one first or adopt from foster care first. I actually landed on adopting from foster care first just out of instinct. There was no major revelation that came to me, if just felt right, and Aubrey agreed.
In April (2013) I was doing research on the process, just trying to learn all about it, and I read that the large majority of kids in the Wisconsin system are 6 years and older and that younger kids are relatively rare. That statement began an unraveling of many sorts in me. From that moment on I began the debate between having one first or adopting from foster care first all over again. I told Aubrey about it and he was not affected. He still held firm in adoption, but firm in a way that let me find my way back on my own. The doubts flooded my mind, It seriously felt like I changed my mind every 10 minutes about what to do. I prayed and prayed that God would give us clarity on what direction to take to start our family. The paths were so very different and at this time we knew we were already less than a year away from starting whatever process we decided on.
One weekend at Jacob's Well, during a series on Jeremiah, John Stumbo spoke about being called. God knew before we were in the womb the calling he had for us. John said two things that hit my heart directly. 1. "It's not about who you are NOW, its about who God is making you to be." 2. "Don't ask, can I do this? But instead, Can God make me into who I need to be to do this" It became so clear to me that all my doubts about foster care came flooding in when I realized that it might be more difficult or not as pretty as I thought. The potential of older kids was scary, but God spoke to me that day saying, "Ask me, I can and will make you into the person you need to be to do this."
I came home and told Aubrey about my revelation, and he just smiled. He noted that with so many other "big" decisions in our lives he has been the one with the research, revelations, and reasons behind why we should do this one thing, and I have usually been the one who just "felt" like it was the right thing to do for no explainable reason, but that this time it was reverse! He had been there all along waiting for me patiently to get there too. So we looked at each other and smiled, I think filled with excitement and probably terror. We knew how we were going to start our family!
So, no we have never officially tried to get pregnant. No, this is not plan B, and honestly even if we had tried to get pregnant I don't think adoption would feel like Plan B. God's plan is always Plan A. This is God's plan for our family and we are so excited that this is the path he has for us.
Friday, January 3, 2014
Why Foster Care?
When I was younger and first felt the call to adopt I always assumed it would be international adoption only. I had a plan. We would have a kid first, then adopt a little boy from somewhere in Africa, and then adopt a little girl from China. That was how I pictured my family. (I'm not a control freak or anything...!)
Aubrey and I also discussed that we would like to be married about 5 years before we started a family. After our 3 year anniversary passed a class on adoption, If you were mine, was offered at Jacob's Well and I decided to take it. Aubrey couldn't make it to the class so I was in charge of bringing back all the information to him. If you were mine covers the basics of why to the details of how with adoption. Its a great class for anyone considering or about to start the process. As part of the class they explained the three ways you can adopt. 1. Domestic adoption - adopting infants from the US. 2. International adoption - adopting kids of all ages from different countries. 3. Adopting from Foster Care. - adopting kids of all ages from your State's/the US foster care system.
I knew about the first two. My cousins were adopted domestically and we were (according to my amazing plan...) going to adopt internationally. I didn't even know the third option existed. I was initially intrigued by it because compared to the cost of the other two options it honestly seemed appealing! There is no cost to adopt from the foster care system and in a lot of cases any costs you do incur will be reimbursed in the end. But, to explore an option just because its cheap did not seem like the way I wanted to go about starting our family, but God was already at work.
Over the next year God began laying foster care on my heart. I was honestly terrified at first. I never wanted to do foster care. I wasn't cut out for it, I argued. One Sunday during worship at Jacob's Well I just broke down. God had spoken and I had finally heard. Over the next few months a couple of things began to happen. God continued to work in my heart. The call that I originally heard as a call to one day do Foster Care began to come into focus as a call to adopt through Foster Care. It was different than what I had always pictured, but I accepted it relatively easily, even though I had no idea what that would look like.
One of the biggest ways that God worked in our hearts was through some friends of ours the Behnke's. We have been blessed to be witnesses to Paul and Nicki's adoption story as they adopted their 3 children through foster care. Paul and Nicki were actually in the If you were mine class and were the first people I heard express interest and plans to adopt from foster care. I felt not only certainty, but also excitement at the thought of adopting through foster care after seeing God's hand through their process. For their whole story check out their blog.
So, God had spoken to me, and I had heard, but he wasn't done yet. I still had my plan in my mind. To have a kid first, then adopt foster care, and then international adoption. The perfect family, or at least that was my opinion...
Aubrey and I also discussed that we would like to be married about 5 years before we started a family. After our 3 year anniversary passed a class on adoption, If you were mine, was offered at Jacob's Well and I decided to take it. Aubrey couldn't make it to the class so I was in charge of bringing back all the information to him. If you were mine covers the basics of why to the details of how with adoption. Its a great class for anyone considering or about to start the process. As part of the class they explained the three ways you can adopt. 1. Domestic adoption - adopting infants from the US. 2. International adoption - adopting kids of all ages from different countries. 3. Adopting from Foster Care. - adopting kids of all ages from your State's/the US foster care system.
I knew about the first two. My cousins were adopted domestically and we were (according to my amazing plan...) going to adopt internationally. I didn't even know the third option existed. I was initially intrigued by it because compared to the cost of the other two options it honestly seemed appealing! There is no cost to adopt from the foster care system and in a lot of cases any costs you do incur will be reimbursed in the end. But, to explore an option just because its cheap did not seem like the way I wanted to go about starting our family, but God was already at work.
Over the next year God began laying foster care on my heart. I was honestly terrified at first. I never wanted to do foster care. I wasn't cut out for it, I argued. One Sunday during worship at Jacob's Well I just broke down. God had spoken and I had finally heard. Over the next few months a couple of things began to happen. God continued to work in my heart. The call that I originally heard as a call to one day do Foster Care began to come into focus as a call to adopt through Foster Care. It was different than what I had always pictured, but I accepted it relatively easily, even though I had no idea what that would look like.
One of the biggest ways that God worked in our hearts was through some friends of ours the Behnke's. We have been blessed to be witnesses to Paul and Nicki's adoption story as they adopted their 3 children through foster care. Paul and Nicki were actually in the If you were mine class and were the first people I heard express interest and plans to adopt from foster care. I felt not only certainty, but also excitement at the thought of adopting through foster care after seeing God's hand through their process. For their whole story check out their blog.
So, God had spoken to me, and I had heard, but he wasn't done yet. I still had my plan in my mind. To have a kid first, then adopt foster care, and then international adoption. The perfect family, or at least that was my opinion...
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